16 11 2024 Thank you for all your messages, loving support and more. I am writing this account not just for you, but for me, so I can recollect the beauty of the final moments I had with Eddie and also share a little context of what was happening for us over the last couple of years. When I do get a chance to be still, and rest within, I realise, we have been preparing for this for a few years. Since Ma’s passing, Swami (our Beloved Master) has been guiding us to enjoy each other's company, have fun, and joyfully serve as best as we can. Eddie had also been preparing me (intentionally or not, time will tell). He has done good by me. At every turn, I sense his guiding hand, his love, his smile and his sweetness. Nonetheless, I feel bewildered, it’s as if I have no context, no meeting ground, my heart is untethered, without an anchor in time and space. The map is gone, but the compass of the 4 tenets remain. I turn to face the light of the eternal sun to find my bearings. I know with time, the path will reveal itself. I am so grateful for the accounts of love, spontaneous miracles, Eddie sightings, and experiences around the globe. I had no idea that his love was so impactful. In fact i was blown away. He is so content in his own presence with nothing to prove or motivation to do / effort, and with that sense of Self, he could touch hearts and minds by simply being himself. What a testimony to “being”. A little context Eddie and I have been together since 1.10.1995. I walked into his life with one suitcase, a lot of attitude, and a deep longing to know Truth, I never left. We have had an amazing run and I know and trust that it is not over yet. I have to admit to being in a little bit of denial, I don't quite believe that i won’t be seeing his handsome form again, instead i trust that i will. As if he has had to leave temporarily and will return at any moment. He IS my everything. At 1.44 am on the 16th of November 2024, Eddie was liberated from the confines of his physical form following a heart attack. At first it did not make sense to me. How did it happen? It wasn’t part of the plan. These things never are. He died in my arms, sitting in his meditation spot, a last gentle breath. I had the strangest feeling that this cannot be happening and yet it is. In that moment, I believed I had lost everything, everything, and at the same time I knew I received something that is beyond everything, his ever present consciousness beginning to merge into mine, into ONE, into the Self. I don't know how to articulate what I experience now. I am also feeling bewildered, between what I am told I am supposed to feel and what I really feel.. I can’t quite make sense of what is happening to me/us. How can I miss myself? Eddie is me and I am him, so what has died and what continues to live on? I know that death is not real. As Eddie used to say, there is no death, there is only consciousness - evolving. I miss everything about his physical presence. And am constantly reminding myself that this is an invitation for me to relinquish the last remaining attachment to body consciousness. The Questions I keep being asked, what happened? Or did he know? Or did you say goodbye? So here goes, as succinctly as I can - In the last year or so, Eddie and i were experiencing shifts in consciousness, our understanding was shifting, the mind became more silent, not empty, but fluid and the heart awareness grew with expansive ease. In meditation Eddie often merged into the light and dropped into samadhi. The process had become effortless for him. I had to consciously call him back, over and over. On the one hand he seemed like he was an ordinary man, watching youtube videos, keeping tabs on current affairs, doing his exercises, enjoying coffee, cooking for friends, lovingly bickering, being obtuse, and laughing at his own jokes. On the other hand, he was/is a spiritual master. He is my detachment guru, lightning rod, rock, compass, and best friend. Our love for Swami, God, Truth is what nourished us. I am developing a new relationship with him, the Cosmic Eddie. It’s all very new… 15th morning (the morning before, the day everything changed) In the morning about 3am, Eddie had a Krishna dream and Krishna came with a hammer. He destroyed something or someone with the hammer. I woke up singing a song on Surrender and Om Namah Shivaya. Eddie wasn’t feeling so great that day, and wanted to rest after breakfast. I massaged his feet and he had a lovely nap, then he meditated for a while. I squeezed fresh orange juice for Eddie and sat with him in our prayer room and we had a profound conversation. Eddie was emotional and spoke of asking God to forgive him for any remaining anger he may have. I now feel incredibly blessed that we had an opportunity to rest in the ensuing expansive peace together. Later he caught up on emails, I made dinner, ironed and watched some Netflix together till 11pm, when the Tescos grocery shop arrived (which I discovered the next day was very timely). After unpacking the groceries, we went to bed, and all was well with the world. The Full Moon Night Approximately 30 minutes later, Eddie’s breathing became distressed, and he sat up. I held him. He then wanted to go to the loo. After he evacuated we went to the prayer room, we sat together, at first cross legged and then he straightened his feet as if offering them to me, so i sat on the ground facing him, anointing his feet and while massaging his feet, i started to chant prayers, he began to sweat profusely, I wiped him down, and sat next to him. His breathing began to ease, and then he slumped slightly like a feather, his head landing onto my shoulder, with the gentlest sigh, like light leaving his body. It was so unexpected, the thought, “what has just happened?” echoed within, i shouted out for Eddie, thinking if i called him, he may return, I only did it twice, because i knew Eddie would not like it. I sat there a while, cradling him, in the light of the full moon. I knew I had to do something, but I didn't want to leave him. My phone wasn’t too far away, I called Karen to pick up Angela and come immediately. Then I called Monica to come as well. They arrived before 2.30am. I was visibly shaken. And grateful to them for taking charge, I would have been unable to deal with any of it on my own. All I wanted to do was to be with Eddie for as long as possible, Karen called the paramedics, they tried CPR, dealt with the doorbell, and the drama of having 3 paramedics walking around asking invasive questions. A policeman, PC Wormsley came and asked me some interesting questions as well. Around 4 am, things began to quieten as we waited for the undertaker's ambulance. Angela then asked me if I needed to inform anyone… We started with my sister and then went from there. The news spread like wildfire ... .The undertakers came, i spent as much time as i could lying on the ground by his side. Absorbing the last precious moments. As I look back now, I ask myself, what was the light that i was bathing in? What was that his light? Did Eddie know if he was going to leave his body… I don’t know, earlier that day he assured me he was fine and was going to live till 90. I am certain there is a perfect divine plan at play. Did we say goodbye… No we didn’t, but with a love like ours there are no goodbyes or hellos. There is so much more I could share. But the whispers that are helping me write this, almost dictating these words are becoming softer. So I shall stop now… Eddie and i bow down to you in gratitude and eternal love Please accept my Namaskar (Salutations) Om Sai Ram Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi

- Sri Sathya Sai Baba "Where there is faith, there is love; where there is love, there is peace; where there is peace, there is truth; where there is truth, there is God; where there is God, there is bliss. "

Love alone can reveal the Divinity latent in all. Love is God. Live in Love. Love! Love! Become what you truly are -- the embodiment of Love. (Sathya Sai Speaks, XI:14ff)